Grandma

I don't know why, but my brain has been working major overtime lately. I like to think. No, let me rephrase that. I love to think, but lately it's been coming to me at such bad times that I don't really want to let it in. I've also been very emotional and I find myself crying at the silliest things!! But I feel that it is just a phase that should be over soon.....hopefully.

I have been thinking a lot about my Grandma. She has been diagnosed with bone cancer. It is in both her soine and her pelvis, which causes her alot of pain. Now, my Grandma and I haven't ever really been close. Too many cousins to compete with and also because of when I was pregnant with my first child (many things were said that I didn't appreciate). She's celebrating her 89th birthday on Thursday, so we were at her house on Saturday for party. By the time we left, Grandma had become very emotional, and was losing her breath from her sobs. It really made me worry about her and what was to come. But one thing that really stuck with me was when I was hugging her. She actually said she loved me!! This is not something that I have heard from my Grandma in well over 10 years!! Just that alone made me well up. But now after seeing her with my own eyes, I truely know how she is doing.

Because of her age they can't do treatments. The most they can do is give her this pill that will help contain it to those areas, with a smaller chance of it spreading. So now it is my personal goal to make sure I talk with her as much as I possibly can. She really doesn't seem like she's doing too well and that really scares me. This is not her first bout with cancer either. She had breast cancer about 14 years ago. But she is a survivor. I know she is. And I know that she will fight this one to the very end....